Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Felling So Much Better

While I'm still not in love with 29 Palms I feel so much better about being here right now. Nick and I had an amazing weekend and we didn't even leave the Morongo Basin. This past weekend we watched Lost like it was going out of style, we (and the term we is used loosely here) built a garden, Nick painted his bike, I made a flag cake, some roasted red pepper puff pastry things, and some focaccia bread, and we just hung out. It was great because Nick wasn't exhausted and I wasn't feeling like our time together was too short so nothing seemed rushed at all. It was just a nice laid back weekend. Oh, and I booked plane tickets to San Antonio. I'll be there July 31st for 2 weeks.

A lot of the time Nick leaves well before I'm awake, usually before sunrise, and he doesn't get home until sunset or later. He barely has time for sleep but he does his best to spend as much time with us as possible, usually 2 hours a day. Unfortunately half the time he's so tired that what we get is this left over, barely coherent, shell of a man. To say that it sucks is an understatement. Even on weekends he's usually so exhausted that he spends a good chunk of time recovering from his hellish week. And he's always trying to spend as much time with us as possible while still making time for errands he has to run for himself. This is how it has been since he went back to work after paternity leave and it's all because of a certain Marine with a serious attitude problem, but I won't get into that here.

Anyway, this certain Marine is gone for 8 weeks. Thank God is all I can say. This is a much needed break, as you can tell from my previous posts I was feeling pretty down lately but this Marines absence has just made a world of difference. Nick has been coming home at reasonable hours, going in at reasonable hours, and getting a lunch. In no other occupation would getting a lunch seem like a luxury, but here it is. Nick told me the other day that most days all he eats is dinner. Lately he has been coming home for a 2 hour lunch. It's been great, it really has. It reminds me of when we first got here, before this Marine came to Nick's battery and began making things hell for everyone. I remember when Nick would be home at 4 everyday and he had a 2 hour lunch most days and I, for some reason, complained about the Marine Corps. What was I thinking? Well, I had just come from civilian life so everything about the Marine Corps seemed incredibly unfair, the rank inequality, the deployments, etc.

Anyway, I am going to soak it all in until Nick leaves for training. I cannot even express how important this break from evil Marine is. After months of his bs my perception on things had become a little distorted. I had forgotten how things are supposed to be, it's weird but this crazy schedule felt normal and I felt like I was the one with the problem, like I wasn't cut out for this lifestyle because I couldn't handle the late nights, early mornings, exhausted husband, etc. I felt like a failure which was pretty sad to me because I have really tried so hard to adapt to this lifestyle. Oh, and I am the only spouse who deals with evil Marine because Nick is the only married Marine in his section. So when I would vent to other women in the unit sometimes, well most times, they made me feel like I was just not strong enough because they couldn't relate to what I was going through. I know that was not their intention. The point is that I feel better and I'm going to make the best of my time with my husband before evil Marine returns.

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