I started attending a writing workshop at the Library and yesterday I was given some pretty neat writing prompts so I figured I would post my response to one of them. The prompt was simply "no thank you". Here is my response:
No thank you, I do not have any extra habanero jelly that I would like to sell to you. I have told you time and time again that you can purchase said jelly at the Joshua Tree farmers market every Saturday for $3.50. Stop being lazy and go get the jelly yourself. Also, if I have to text you the name of the jelly one more time I will scream. It is HABANERO jelly, if you can't remember the name go back through your texts and find the last one I sent telling you the name of it.
OK so that is my response, now the story behind this starts with my mothers day pot luck. I had made some really delicious appetizers using puff pastry, cream cheese, and my very valuable habanero jelly. One of my guests really enjoyed these appetizers and asked me if I would teach her how to make them, which made me so very happy because this is another recipe that I made up on my own and it was an honor to have someone want them so bad that she needed me to help her make them. So I said yes, of course I will teach you, I have an incredibly busy schedule but I will take some time out of that and make you food. I know that sounds sarcastic, but I was serious. I love to cook and I was flattered by this friends request. The only problem was that she needed the jelly and I didn't want to share mine so I told her to get some apricot preserves and we would spice it up with cayenne pepper and little bits of jalapeno. I really think that would have been delicious but this friend of mine wanted nothing less than the habanero jelly. My very expensive for the small amount that you get, habanero jelly. She eventually talked me into letting her use my jelly, she's very persuasive, this friend of mine, and she was set to arrive at my house at 4pm to start cooking.
Well 4:30 rolled around and she hadn't arrived. I later got a text that said "my husband came home so I had to cook for him LOL." Yeah, thanks. This was during finals week where I was literally working 13 hour days trying to finish all my school work so when I said I was really busy I meant it. I figured that was the end of it but I was wrong. I have since gotten 3 or 4 texts asking me what the name of the jelly is, what the puff pastry box looks like and where it can be found, and most recently a text that said "Do u hv some jelly I can buy from u? Lol" Like it's a street drug and I'm a dealer. The thing is that I have told her this information verbally and in writing several times so I just don't understand why she keeps hounding me for the same information. I get a little testy when I feel my time is being wasted, especially during finals week, when I simply have no more extra time and when I feel like I'm being used for my jelly. And a girl never wants to feel used, especially for her habanero jelly.
Here is Alice after she ate some of my coveted habanero jelly:
Just kidding people! It's prunes, I wouldn't give my baby habanero anything!