The Great American Bake Sale, Yo!

Please forgive me, lately I've had the incredible urge to end as many sentances as possible with "yo". It's like that song, "She's Gone Country", but she's gone gangsta.

So, about this bake sale. If you're a food network junkie you may have seen Sandra Lee of Duff from Ace from Ace of Cakes talking about it on TV. It's a very simple concept, people bake, they sell their baked goods, and then they donate the money to a program called share our strength. Share our strength then uses that money to help fund after school and summer programs that feed children in America.

Did you know that childhood hunger is an issue in America? I didn't. But it really is. For some kids the meals they receive in school are all they get, which means they may go hungry on weekends, over the summer, or on holiday breaks. 

After seeing this on TV I decided to start a team in 29 Palms called Team Semper Tasty. I've had the team for less than 24 hours and we've already got 4 members including me. But we need more! I would like to host a Great American Bake Sale monthly which means I need more volunteers.

We need the following: Bakers, Sellers, Publicists (people who can get the word out) , Decorators, and much more!

You can even bring your kiddos! I know Haley will be helping out, holding signs or selling the baked goods, it's a great learning experience.

To join Team Semper Tasty visit http://join.strength.org/goto/ and click "join team" sempertasty

The Joy of Baking/Cooking

My absolute favorite thing about cooking and baking is the happiness it brings to people. There are few things that you can give someone that will make their eyes light up and then make them shower you with praise. I love praise. So naturally I want to share my food with everyone I can. I often tell Nick that if I could just bake all day I would be the happiest girl on earth, I really would. And can you believe that last April I barely knew how to bake at all? I could cook, but baking was a rarity and usually meant pre-packaged cookie dough. My, how things have changed.

Anyway, I am incredibly excited because I will be baking lots of goodies for Nick's unit's bake sale! It's not for another week but I'm counting down the days and I'm trying to mentally organize all the ideas I have for what to make. I'm definitely making dark chocolate raspberry cupcakes witth scarlet and gold frosting, the USMC colors but I also want to make a pumpkin pound cake to slice and sell or maybe some bars, definitely something with a halloween look to it. Maybe I'll make candy corn cereal treats and 'glue' a candy corn to the tops with marshmallo fluff! Yes, this is going to be fun :)

Day Trip to Oak Glen

There is a lot to do here in Southern California for a day trip but a lot of it is the same thing or it's super crowded, or expensive. For example, you can go shopping in Palm Springs, you can go to an amusement park, you can go up the tram, there's Big Bear. Honestly, I'm tired of shopping, it's exhausting. The very thought of navigating the family through a crowded and over priced theme park makes me cringe, and I feel the same about the tram. It's over priced and over crowded. And Big Bear seems too far away, plus there's not much to do there n the fall but shop.

Yesterday we decided to switch it up a bit and head to the Oak Glen Growers Association which is a little township inside of Yucaipa, Ca. It was a blast, a totally laid back environment. While the crowds did start pouring in at around lunch time it never felt too crowded. We started our journey at Snow Line Orchards, where we ate fantastic cider doughnuts, sampled some unusual apple varieties like pink pearl, and picked a boat load of raspberries.

We then headed down to the town center for lunch at a BBQ joint called the rib cage. It wasn't bad but since I am a Texan and accustomed to certain BBQ standards I really can't say it was good either. Afterwards we walked around the village and found a cute little farm stand with heirloom apples and cider samples.

The last stop of our journey was Riley's Farm, a colonial farmstead where the employees are dressed in colonial era clothing. This is without a doubt a cool place to go, they've got a pumpkin patch, a petting zoo, great smelling food, and lot's more. We decided to go apple picking here and it was fun, you take a hay ride from the main colonial village up to the orchard and the take a trail past huge wild blackberry bushesand a beautiful mountain stream and fnd your self in a field of apple trees nestled in the mountains. From there you fill your bags with as many apples as you can. My only complaint is that one bag was $19, plus we paid $1 per person to walk the trail. It was kind of steep if you ask me but at the same time we had a great time, much more fun than we have had when we've paid more. If you don't want to spend that kind of money on apples you don't have to! You can still enjoy Riley's and then head down the road to a different apple orchard (there are plenty). Just call around and find the best price before going. http://www.oakglen.net/index.shtml

Meal Planning on a Budget

So yeah, 3 blogs in one day, it's a lot but I've been meaning to blog about this for a while. I've set our weekly grocery budget at $100 for our family of 3.5 which includes 3 meals and 2 snacks per day, plus toiletries. I usually shop for 7 days worth of meals at a time so it costs about $14 per day to feed my little family, about $4 per person for 3 meals a day, which is $1.33 per meal. Before I go to the store I make a meal plan where I write down 7 days worth of dinner ideas. To give you an example here is our latest meal plan:

grilled fish with lemon cream sauce, salad, rolls, and broccoli
bacon tomato quiche with salad
Zuppa toscana w/ baguettes and salad
Turkey Spaghetti with salad and baguettes
Philly cheese steak sandwiches w/ oven fried potatoes (oh man, these were good!)
Turkey burgers with baked zucchini fries and salad
Hot dogs with salad and green beans

We eat a lot of salad! I hadn't realized that. Anyway, once I know what I'm going to be eating I make my list of ingredients needed for these things, usually I don't need all of the ingredients because I've already got them on hand. I should mention that when I'm deciding what to make I usually raid my pantry first so I can incorporate what I've got on hand.

In addition to making an ingredient list I also list basic necessities like milk, eggs, bread, fruit, etc. and I list things like "3 snack items" (box of crackers, nutrigrain, etc), " 2 breakfast choices" (cereal or bagels, etc), "2 lunch items". I do this because for one thing I need snacks, breakfast, and lunch, but I also know that if I see something I want I'm going to be inclined to buy it. Setting vague limitations keeps me from over buying but allows me to add a few items to my cart that weren't specifically on the list.

Overall I've found that this works really well for us. No one goes hungry, we eat good food, and usually I come out $10-$20 under budget.


I'm curious to know what everyone else does? What's your budget, how much is an average meal in your house? Do you shop with a list or wing it?

The Cake Slice Bakers

Have you heard of this? It's a group of bloggers who bake their way through cookbooks, one cake at a time. Kind of like in that movie, Julia & Julia. Anyway, it's usually closed to new members but right now they've got an open enrollment type of thing so I went ahead and joined. I'm really excited to be a cake slice baker!

If you are interested in joining then email Katie at appleandspice@hotmail.co.uk  and tell her your name, blog name, and blog URL with "cake slice member" as the subject line.

The Kids

It seems I haven't blogged about my kids in such a long time! We'll start with Miss Alice, she's such a handful these days and I love her for it because she keeps me so busy! She is all over the place, in fact yesterday I had to go searching for her soaking wet. I had put her on the floor with a bunch of toys so I could take a shower and she usually never moves from that spot however yesterday she felt adventurous. I had been in the shower for barely 2 minutes, just long enough to get shampoo in my hair when I realized she was being unusually quiet so I peeked my head out of the shower and she was gone. My first thought was that she may have found the cats litter box because she has been trying really hard to get into the laundry room where we keep it. I had this horrible mental image of my precious childs mouth covered in cat litter and that was all  it took to send me bolting out of the shower. I mean, what would I do if that happened? Take her to the doctors and explain that she may have eaten a cat turd? Not cool. Luckily I found her sitting outside of Haley's bedroom and I took her and put her back in her spot, closing the laundry room door on my way.

She's also growing more and more fond of Ranger although Ranger is very jealous of her and I think maybe even a little scared of her.

I couldn't imagine why she'd be scared. Oh, wait, yes I can.

As for Haley, that girl is a busy bee! She's incredibly social so it seems she's always playing with a friend, this weekend though, she's staying home with us because we miss her. This year she'll be participating in a few programs, an after school program called operation hero, a program at Inspiration Place called little chefs, and maybe a drama program offered by Joshua Tree. We're hoping to continue with girl scouts but our old troop leader moved over the summer and we're still waiting to hear from the new leader.

My Jewelry Box

As I mentioned in my previous post I want to get into product photography so I did a little research and found that I need some more equipment including lights and a lightbox but never one patient enough to wait for equipment to arrive in the mail I decided to try my hand at product photography using the equipment I already have which includes my camera, my 50mm lens, my external flash, my old Minolta close up filter that I have to hold in front of my lens because it doesn't fit, and two white sheets of paper taped to the back of a cereal box. I used my jewelry as my product and here are my results:

This is a ring that was given to me by my grandmother. I think I received it as a gift for my 18th birthday and it's been in the family for a while. Someone once told me they thought I found it one of those quarter machines you find in business waiting rooms. That person now has a permanent mark on their forehead in the shape of this ring from when I put them in their place using my fist. Just kidding, I'm a lover not a fighter.

Here is my class ring, notice the camera and film on the side there. On the other side I've got a paint easel, however I am not a good painter at all. I just needed something to fill in that space and I liked art.

Here are some of my James Avery charms. What is James Avery you ask? Just ask any Texan and they'll know, but if you don't have a Texan handy I'll go ahead and fill you in. James Avery is a jewelry store that makes really unique charms and jewelry. A lot of times they're miniature reproductions of larger things, like the camera for example.

Check out the detail on that, it even has a little viewfinder. Oh, but what's that little dangling thing on the side?? It's a film canister because I got this back when film was the norm. On every James Avery piece there is a little candle holder with 3 candles and the initials JA. When my best bud Ann and I were kids we thought it was a menorah and the JA stood for Jewish Academy.

 The thing I love about James Avery charms and jewelry is that everything I own from them has a story. The sun was given to me by my aunt Sharon because I really love severe weather. I know it's a sun and not a tornado but for whatever reason James Avery doesn't make those. Sharon also gave me the bride and groom when Nick and I were engaged.

So there you have it. I think for what I was working with it's not bad, but it's als not great. I don't really know the first thing about how to even market myself for product photography so if it's really something I want to do I think there is a lot to learn.

Goals for the week

I don't know what it is about today but I am in such a fantastic mood! Maybe it's because my amazing husband was able to scrub the nastiness (i.e. caked on dirt and grime from years of wear) off of our kitchen floor that we've been trying to remove since we moved in. Maybe it's because I had a great time last night having dinner with friends. Maybe it's because the weather is cooling off. I don't really know. Because of this fantastic mood I am approaching the weeks goals with a tenacity for success.

Goal one: Delve into the uncharted (for me) world of product photography. I love portraits but I think I need a new challenge.
Goal two: Help Nick get started in school. My husband has an associates degree but wants to go back for his bachelors so we can rake in some big bucks once he either retires or leaves the military. I want to help him get this started because, well, I like big bucks.

Goal Three: Get my hair did. Or at the very least make an appointment. I'm thinking I want something a little crazy and edgy, but not over the top edgy. I'm thinking I want it to be darker brown with wispy fire engine red highlights in my bangs, and then a small cluster of more wispy red highlights on the side of my head. Just a little pop of color.

Well that's that, I hope that I will complete more of my goals this time around. Wish me luck.

Last weeks goals, a luau, and a picture

The goals I made last week were not 100% met. I didn't even attempt to write out a business plan, I exhausted every effort to register for classes but was still unable to do so, but my cooking club idea is doing really well, we've got a lot of people interested and a bunch of people that I've never met are coming so the word is getting out there. I'm really excited about it and I hope it turns out well.

The school thing has left me feeling very defeated. I spent Monday - Thursday trying to get things sorted out, waiting for responses, calling random departments, etc and then once everything I needed to do had been done I found out that all classes were closed and completely full. So I can not go to school at UTEP this semester. I was really mad. But I am not just going to sit here for 5 months and twiddle my thumbs, I will literally lose my mind doing that. I guess I'm going to have to take a couple of classes at AMU this semester but I really need the advice of my crappy UTEP advisor to tell me which classes will transfer. I was truly disappointed to find that my environmental science class didn't transfer over. I loved that class but for some reason it didn't satisfy my natural sciences requirement. So because of that I need to speak with someone first about what classes to take. I'm starting to think that maybe I should just stay at AMU, stay a sociology major, and then later get a masters degree from a major university. I don't know. I love the idea of attending a well known school but I just don't know what to do. I will be calling my dad for advice on this one for sure. We're also having an education fair soon so I'll have to check that out.

In addition to running around like a chicken with it's head cut off for school I was planning a back to school luau for Haley and some of her classmates. It went really well and I was happy because I got to plan a menu and cook food. We made some grilled chicken and veggie kabobs, BBQ chicken legs, a no bake peach cheesecake, this really awesome caramel yogurt fruit dip, and some Hawaiian rice. I had such good intentions for that rice, I actually dreamt of it before making it. Unfortunately it was a little bland. I think it's because it was such a big batch. It had jalapeno, cayenne pepper, green onion, crushed pineapple, and coconut milk in it, plus a little garlic. I just can  not cook without cayenne pepper and garlic. I will definitely be trying it again, in a smaller batch. My good friend Vanessa brought her sweet potato fries which were amazing, I'll be making them soon.

Lastly, I had a studio session on Saturday evening and since that studio is such a pain to put up I always make the girls take pics when I have it up. Unfortunately Haley was at a friends house so she didn't get her picture taken but Miss Alice did and this is the result:

I think this weekend we might break out the tripod and head down to 29 Palms Inn and actually do some family photos. That is the plan but it has been the plan many times before and we ALWAYS blow it off.

Five Things

1. My morning glories are downright amazing. They make me not want to leave this place, which is saying a lot. Here they are, being awesome:

2. My baby is a goofball and when her hands are occupied she will not drop what she's doing to retrieve the snack I'm offering her. She will however open her mouth and lean her head forward as if to say "I'm a little busy, just put it in there for me, would ya?"

3. Correction: Both of my children are goofballs:

4. Yesterday I baked 70 whole wheat oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and I prepared and devoured this little slice of heaven:

It's a calzone filled with cheese, pepperoni, roasted red peppers and olives, and more calories and fat that I would typically consume at dinner. I will post the recipe later.

5. Nick is unaware that the cookies contain whole wheat flour, one of his hated foods. I plan on telling him tonight after he gets home from work and him and his co-workers have eaten every last cookie. He'll either be indifferent, say something like "I knew they tasted funny" (totally not true) or "Are you trying to poison me?"

Goals for 8-23-10

I figure if I post my weekly goals online people will see them and I'll have a better chance of accomplishing them, after all I don't want to come back at the end of the week and let everyone know that I've failed miserably.

1. Get registered for classes.
This is a biggy, hence it being number 1 on the list. I'm bored, I desire an education, yet it's been weeks and I'm still not enrolled in classes. This is because I have a registration hold that says I need to take an assesment test. This is bs because I have already taken and passed classes for all the subjects I need to be assesed for yet I'm getting the run around when I try to fix this little roadblock.

2. Create a cooking club
Think book club but with food instead of books. This is something I have wanted to do for a really long time now. I'm thinking every month this club meets at the host's home (a different host each month) and brings a dish they've prepared. Everyone who attends will get to sample each dish and all recipes will be emailed to everyone who attends. I've also been thinking there needs to be a theme each month that the host chooses such as comfort foods, French cuisine, etc. If you're interested please let me know.

3.Create a business plan
This is something I really need to do. I have some ideas for expanding my business and I really just need to get it all on paper, write out the steps, and do it. Unfortunately all my laziness occurs the moment I begin thinking of doing this and when I try to open up word so I can type it all up something happens and my hand gets a mind of it's own, opens internet explorer and types facebook.com into the address bar.

So that's it. Three things in addition to my normal work load. It shouldn't be hard. We'll see though.

I'm Back

I rarely fly as a means of travel, we usually drive because it's more economical but Miss Alice prefers not to be restrained in a vehicle for 17 hours and boy does she let us know how she feels if we attempt that. Her daddy has strong opinions that he is not afraid to voice and I think she got that trait from him. So when I decided to take her to Texas I booked a plane. The flight down there was effortless, easy, made me wonder what the heck everyone was complaining about when they said flying with kids was a pain in the butt. Unfortunately I found out why that is on my trip back.

Haley had gone to Texas in early July and she was flying back with Alice and me. I was excited about that because I thought it would be great since she could help me out and I was looking forward to having someone to talk to on the plane. I'm still in awe over the way clouds look from above, how neat it is to see another plane passing by, and I still can't understand why anyone would dare to close the windows on the plane because of all the cool stuff to look at. I needed Haley on board with me so I could point out all this neat stuff.

Anyway, back to the story. Once we got to the airport things started going downhill. It was rediculously hot that day so I was sweating like crazy by the time I one handedly navigated a stroller while pulling a huge suitcase from the parking lot to the check in counter. I then stood in a relatively long line staring at people who refused to believe it was a self check in. Seriously, people were just standing there looking at these computers and even after someone said it was self check it they still stood there, seemingly in disbelief over the wonders of technology. Could a computer really do what was once a humans job? Yes people, yes it can and it does. Finally they got over the initial shock and most likely a brief twinge of fear that computers may one day rule the world and things began to move. Once it was my turn we discovered that my large suitcase was overweight by 5 lbs so I had to remove things from it and stuff those things into other suitcases. I did this while my mom held Alice who was now screaming and Haley stood there watching me struggle to lug a 50lb case to and from the scale twice.

Once that was over we made our way to security which wouldn't have been so bad but I had made Haley wear tennis shoes which made the process a little lengthy, no big deal though. On a side note while I was waiting for Haley I watched TSA personnel try and figure out why a very well dressed little girl with down syndrome had been abondoned at the security check point. It was sad, she had been standing there longer than I had and when they asked her where her mommy was she didn't know.

By the time that was taken care of we were hungry and there were many options, Dunkin Doughnuts, Las Palapas, Raising Cane Chicken, and a really trendy looking croisant sandwich place. After a lot of deliberation we settled on the croisant place which seriously sucked. I paid $20 for flavorless, could have made it myself, sandwhiches that neither of us liked. I was annoyed. You all should know I love food but you may not know that I don't care to go out to dinner unless it's to eat something I can't make at home. I was downright pissed off. I could have made the same thing for $1.50 at home, but much tastier.

So after that fiasco my mom, who had come to help, bought me a chocolate chip cookie in an effort to make me feel a little better. I needed to take Alice in for a diaper change first though and of course there was a long line at the bathroom. Alice was exhausted and hungry but I felt she needed to be changed first because it was 6:15 by this time and our flight would soon be boarding. Once I got her to the changing table she started to freak out, I can understand since it was really loud and strange to her. She was throwing a fit, kicking and screaming, making it nearly impossible for me to change her diaper. Then an angel, or maybe it was a custodian, came over and talked to her, instantly calming her enough for me to finish my job. Thank you custodian! I washed my hands and looked forward to that wonderful cookie that was so close to being devoured.

Unfortunately once I exited the bathroom Haley asked me where her purse was. "I'm sure it's in the stroller with Grandma" I told her. It was not in the stroller though, she had left it somewhere. Her phone, her money, and her books were in there so she and my mom went looking for it while I fed Alice who should have fallen asleep eating but did not. Instead she went into her weird, overly tired, but insanely hyper mode. It's this state where she is incredibly fussy, incredibly alert, and very hyper. While this was going on I discovered that my plane was delayed 45 minutes. I know it could have been worse but it still sucked.

Luckily Haley and my mom returned, purse in hand, and for a brief moment everything was ok and I ate my cookie in peace.

Then Haley developed a very strong fear of flying. This girl was terrified, crying hysterically,  freaking out, exclaiming that she just knew something bad was going to happen. People had been staring at us the whole time since Alice was so crazy and hyper but they had turned away when I had met their gazes, now the staring intensified and they just kept looking even when I made eye contact. And I could not console Haley, I was so frazzled by this whole airport experience that all I could come up with was "it's going to be fine" accompanied by a weak pat on her leg. Thank God for grandmas though, my mom was able to console her and after 10 minutes of crying she calmed down.

Finally after all the chaos we began to board the plane but not before Alice fell, hitting herself on the cheek in the process which caused more hysterical crying and more stares from passengers. I briefly considered yelling " hey, could you guys quit it with the judgemental staring?! It's not helping" but I didn't want to become the lady with the crying kids who then freaked out on her fellow passengers. I was content with being just the lady with the crying kids.

Once we got to the gate Haley started freaking out again, crying, not wanting to leave my mom but I gently shoved her along and through very loud, intense sobbing she repeatedly yelled "I already miss her so much!". Finally we settled in the last row of seats, Alice nursed herself to sleep, the plane took off and Haley was fine. Everything seemed to be going ok until turbulence woke Alice up. Then I got motion sickness. I had purchased these accupressure bracelets designed to help with that but I apparently lost one of them and Alice kept trying to snatch the remaining one out of my hand as I tried to put it on. I really thought I was going to be sick. I would close my eyes every now and then and Alice would stay still long enough for me to get a little relief but then she'd move and I'd have to try and wrangle her back to me and I'd feel sick again. It was torture.

Once we landed in Phoenix we found our gate, settled in, and then found out that plane had been delayed an hour. So we spent our time riding the flat escalator things over and over. I actually enjoyed this part. Unfortunately the Phoenix airport smelled terrible so my motion sickness didn't get better and to make matters worse I tried this lotion on at an airport shop and it smelled terrible so every time I put my hand near my face and got a whiff of that I wanted to get sick.

Once we boarded the plane Alice nursed herself to sleep again and I was able to close my eyes and keep my head facing the front of the plane which helped keep me from getting sick. We finally landed and when I saw my wonderful husband everything felt ok. We got in the car, headed home, and I had the most peaceful sleep of my life. I was so glad to be home.

Sandstorm!

I was born with a fascination of bad weather. I just love it unless people are dieing from it. When we briefly lived in Indiana I was in awe over the thunderstorms, the tornado warning was music to my ears, and our crazy snow storm that was declared a state of emergency was pretty cool too. So naturally, I enjoy a good sand storm. I've only been in two of them since we've moved here and it is truly amazing how quickly they approach.

A week or so ago Alice and I were sitting on the back porch. I could smell rain, hear thunder, and the clouds were dark and heavy, I was waiting for the storm hoping it didn't miss us. Things were looking very promising and the wind began picking up, I was in heaven, certain that I would soon be enveloped in a nice summer thunderstorm. Then I saw what looked like a distant sandstorm and I thought 'hmm, I wonder if we'll get any of that'. 30 seconds later this was my back yard:

Notice that things are still pretty clear at my place and the sky isn't looking too bad.

Another 30 seconds go by and there's this:

Things are getting a little hazy.

A few seconds later:

Ok, time to go inside.

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie...

Or in this case if you give a photographer a really big client that accounts for 85% of that photographers income, she's going to cry if she thinks she lost that client. Then rejoice and thank God when that client calls and schedules the session. Then silently freak out when she is told the session is in less than 24hrs. Then freak out some more, not so silently, when she realizes she has no childcare because the CDC is full.



I think this stopped being anything like that mouse/cookie scenario a while ago.

In other news we just got back from San Diego where we stayed at MCRD, went to Coronado island, I ate a sea salt chocolate truffle and did not care for the salt, then we went to Coronado Naval Base. We like to go to other bases and see what they've got to offer. So far 29 Palms is the worst in terms of retail on board the base (MCRD has a wine store!!) but strangely I found myself missing home. I was sitting on a beach, on an island in the Pacific (albeit an island only 1/2 a mile from the mainland ) and I was missing my desert home. Something is not right about that. We also ate Mexican food and it truly irritates me that California severely under estimates the power of a freshly made flour tortilla. Fresh tortillas are amazing, truly amazing and they're so easy to make so why do these restaurants buy mass produced tortillas? I think I'm just going to give up entirely on California Mexican food. Maybe one day I'll open up a Tex-Mex diner and show them what it's all about. Yes, a gringa running a Mexican food place, it could work.

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I've been getting my bachelors degree for just about eternity now. Looking back at things I don't know why I didn't think a degree was important, ok well actually do know why I thought a degree wasn't important. It was because when I was around 20 or so I was making a lot more money than most 20 year olds and my job was way cooler and had more responsibility than most 20 yr old jobs. I was under the impression that a degree was nothing more than an expensive piece of paper. I thought I was so cool because while all my buddies were wasting their parents money on college I was already making my own money. I thought I had beaten the system. Isn't that a funny story?

Unfortunately after about a year or so of having that really awesome job I got really tired of it, it wasn't challenging me and I got transferred and my boss was a crazy women from Switzerland who constantly commented on how lazy Americans were and how stupid I was. She never actually called me stupid but I was reprimanded almost daily for the most mundane things. It truly sucked. So I started looking for jobs elsewhere only to find that I wasn't really qualified for much else, I had gone as high as I could go without a degree so I started attending college at a local community college and I really loved it. Then the Marine Corps stationed us here in 29 Palms and we all know how I feel about 29 Palms. I tried to continue attending the community college via online courses but I knew I couldn't get very far that way because most of the courses were taught at the school. I decided then to transfer to Copper Mountain Community College out here and I enrolled in one class and quickly decided that CMCC was not the school for me, I felt like it was a joke, like I knew more about the subject from watching the discovery channel. Plus, even though I had from 8:30am until 3pm to attend school not a single class fit my schedule; they all either began before Haley was at school or ended after she got out.

I didn't know what to do, I felt very hopeless, I didn't want to go to an all online school because I was worried that my future potential employers wouldn't like it. I took a really long break, about a year or so. And then I decided that I needed to just suck it up and go to school online because a degree from an online school is better than no degree at all. So I enrolled in American Military University and I really loved it. I felt challenged which was great and I truly felt like I was gaining knowledge. But it still really bothered me that it was an online school so after about a year at AMU I decided to look into the University of Texas and low and behold they offer an online program. So in April or May I applied to University of Texas at El Paso and after months of waiting I finally got accepted today! I am officially a UTEP Miner!!

Yes, it's still an online program but it's from a school that my potential employers will recognize, they won't have to google it to make sure it exists and is accredited. I'm so happy, it's hard to explain why this is such a big deal to me but it is. Maybe it's because lately I have felt in limbo with everything and now something has finally happened to thrust me closer to where I want to be in life. Now if only the Marine Corps would follow suit and give us orders to Hawaii or something, that would be great :)

Felling So Much Better

While I'm still not in love with 29 Palms I feel so much better about being here right now. Nick and I had an amazing weekend and we didn't even leave the Morongo Basin. This past weekend we watched Lost like it was going out of style, we (and the term we is used loosely here) built a garden, Nick painted his bike, I made a flag cake, some roasted red pepper puff pastry things, and some focaccia bread, and we just hung out. It was great because Nick wasn't exhausted and I wasn't feeling like our time together was too short so nothing seemed rushed at all. It was just a nice laid back weekend. Oh, and I booked plane tickets to San Antonio. I'll be there July 31st for 2 weeks.

A lot of the time Nick leaves well before I'm awake, usually before sunrise, and he doesn't get home until sunset or later. He barely has time for sleep but he does his best to spend as much time with us as possible, usually 2 hours a day. Unfortunately half the time he's so tired that what we get is this left over, barely coherent, shell of a man. To say that it sucks is an understatement. Even on weekends he's usually so exhausted that he spends a good chunk of time recovering from his hellish week. And he's always trying to spend as much time with us as possible while still making time for errands he has to run for himself. This is how it has been since he went back to work after paternity leave and it's all because of a certain Marine with a serious attitude problem, but I won't get into that here.

Anyway, this certain Marine is gone for 8 weeks. Thank God is all I can say. This is a much needed break, as you can tell from my previous posts I was feeling pretty down lately but this Marines absence has just made a world of difference. Nick has been coming home at reasonable hours, going in at reasonable hours, and getting a lunch. In no other occupation would getting a lunch seem like a luxury, but here it is. Nick told me the other day that most days all he eats is dinner. Lately he has been coming home for a 2 hour lunch. It's been great, it really has. It reminds me of when we first got here, before this Marine came to Nick's battery and began making things hell for everyone. I remember when Nick would be home at 4 everyday and he had a 2 hour lunch most days and I, for some reason, complained about the Marine Corps. What was I thinking? Well, I had just come from civilian life so everything about the Marine Corps seemed incredibly unfair, the rank inequality, the deployments, etc.

Anyway, I am going to soak it all in until Nick leaves for training. I cannot even express how important this break from evil Marine is. After months of his bs my perception on things had become a little distorted. I had forgotten how things are supposed to be, it's weird but this crazy schedule felt normal and I felt like I was the one with the problem, like I wasn't cut out for this lifestyle because I couldn't handle the late nights, early mornings, exhausted husband, etc. I felt like a failure which was pretty sad to me because I have really tried so hard to adapt to this lifestyle. Oh, and I am the only spouse who deals with evil Marine because Nick is the only married Marine in his section. So when I would vent to other women in the unit sometimes, well most times, they made me feel like I was just not strong enough because they couldn't relate to what I was going through. I know that was not their intention. The point is that I feel better and I'm going to make the best of my time with my husband before evil Marine returns.

Moving "Home"

Whenever a unit is set to deploy a common question amongst spouses is whether to stay here or go "home". I completely understand that the couples who haven't had children will go "home" during a deployment, I mean what reason would you stay here? In fact, I think marriages might even be safer if the spouse goes "home" since there are so many Marines just waiting for a lonely married woman to walk their way. However, when you throw children into the mix things get complicated.

Take Haley for example, if Nick is going to deploy from May-Dec I can't just uproot our lives and enroll Haley in a school in Texas for half the year, then move her back here and enroll her in a California school. Well technically I can do that but at what expense? It might not seem like a huge change but it is and it would have a huge impact on Haley's emotions.

Aside from issues with school schedules there is the question of housing. I've seen families give up their homes here for a 7 month deployment to go back "home" to live with their parents, only to be homeless upon their return, living with friends for two months.

Lastly, I feel like my home is wherever I live. I haven't called my parents houses my home for many years now so the term going home doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. But it does sound much better than if I would say I'm going back to my place of origin. That's just weird sounding.

So although I understand the concept of going "home" for a deployment I never really agreed with it when children are involved. But now I find myself debating whether or not to go "home". And Nick isn't even deploying, he's going to a course for 6 weeks. I just get so lonely here. I've never been so lonely and so bored in my life. I'm always looking forward to 5 or 6pm when Nick comes home, it's the highlight of my day and the only thing that makes being here worth it because I'm only here because he's here. So when you take him out of the equation my entire purpose for being in 29 Palms, the so called oasis of the desert, is gone. So why stay? Especially why stay when I don't have to?

I found myself thinking this crazy plan this morning where we move all our stuff into storage, drive to Texas, Nick drops us off there and takes a plane back to Cali so he can go to his course, I enroll Haley is school and we stay there until December, well over the 6 weeks that Nick was gone for. By then Nick will have picked up rank and we would be due for orders any day. It's an almost perfect plan. Except for a few minor problems such as not seeing my husband for 5 months, he might not pick up rank for some reason, and I have no place to live in Texas for 5 months. Plus, I love having the Marine Corps to blame for family separations. If we did this I would only have myself to blame for being separated from Nick. And Nick would have left Alice at age 6 months to return to her when she's almost a year, that's too much time away. Now, I know Marines deploy for longer time periods and miss more of their children's lives but I can't do that to my family.

So I guess we'll be staying here after all for who knows how much longer. But I have to remember that I did this for 2 1/2 years now, and one of those years I was alone here, so I can do this. I really, really, don't want to though.

New Mexico

We just got back from New Mexico and I am not too happy about it. I really hate 29 Palms and I could literally feel myself getting more and more irate about our return to this hell hole every mile that we got closer. I didn't realize how much I hated it here until I had to come back. I have been stuck here for nearly 3 years and I feel like my life is on hold until we leave. Sure, I've been able to explore my interest in photography and make it a career but there is so much else I'd like to do with photography that I can't do here, like open a studio. Or photograph in other locations besides 29 Palms Inn. And charge what I feel I am worth.

Anyway, back to New Mexico. We stayed in Cloudcroft, 9,000 feet above sea level, or stress level as they say up there. It's a cozy little mountain village with only 900 permanent residents. It is such a small town that I was able to walk from one end to the other and we almost never used our car, you can walk anywhere. And let me just say, mountain folk have the potential to be just as weird as desert folk. But they also have the potential to be 800 times nicer than desert folk. When we would walk into a shop the owners would often times escort us through the store, showing us this and that, telling us the history about each item we looked at. And the neat thing is that we never felt pressured to buy anything. Oh, and everyone loved my baby. I had to get used to people not trying to touch her when we got home.

You may find this surprising but my favorite part about our trip was our time in the desert. Yeah, I know something is definitely wrong with me. I just like the desert. When my dad took me to New Mexico for the first time at around age 9 I decided that when I grew up I needed to have an adobe home in the desert on a few acres of land and I would hang chili pepper lights on my porch and watch the sun set every evening. The New Mexico desert is so much better than the desert out here. Take a look at this for example:

Or this:

Need more proof? How about this:

I think I've made my point. I'll be writing much more about our trip in the upcoming days but right now I've got a delicious turkey sandwich waiting to be devoured.

Cloudcroft NM 2010

I'll actually write about our trip later!

Annie Leibovitz

If you're affiliated with military in any way you'll know exactly what I'm talking about here. The other day a group of Marines, their wives, and Nick and I were sitting at a free steak lunch complaining about the USMC. Looking back I feel a little ungrateful, I mean it was free steak and I just absolutely love free food, it adds to the flavor I think. Anyway, free steak or not, we were complaining and the Marines were saying things like "June 9th, 2010, the day I officially lost all faith in the Corps", things like that. Apparently something had ticked them off. So we're all sitting there having ourselves a pity fest when the 1st Sgt. walks over and starts talking to all of us and specifically asked Nick about his plans for re-enlistment. What followed was this motivational speech about how to go far in the USMC, what to do next career wise, etc, etc. Forget the late nights, forget how Nick is hardly home anymore, forget the deployments, the time away from family, and all the other things that go into military life we were instantly transformed from planning on returning to San Antonio to never ever wanting to step foot off a military base because it is our home and how dare we even think otherwise. I love those little speech's, they get me every time.


So what the heck does any of this have to do with Annie Leibovitz? I watched her documentary last night and through it I got the whole don't quit what you love speech that the 1st Sgt gave Nick. I love photography, there is no doubt about that. But I don't love forcing smiles from people who don't want to smile. I don't love having dirt kicked in my face by an unruly child whose mother thinks it's my job solely to tame her children and coax a smile worthy of hanging on their living room wall. Sometimes I cringe at the thought of going to work, knowing what lies ahead. There, I said it. Occasionally I find that person who isn't afraid to show themselves and then I'm happy. But those people are rare, or are they? I don't think they're that rare because if so Annie Leibovitz is just beyond lucky in finding people who aren't afraid to show their personalities. She coaxes not smiles, but honesty from her subjects. I need to do that but I'm still trying to figure out how.
I can take honest photos of my family but that's because they're comfortable around me and they're not paying me. I'm not sure my clients want honesty in their photos. I think they want posed photos in their Sunday best to give to grandma because that is tradition. I personally would want the photo above hanging on my wall instead .

Annie Leibovitz documented all aspects of her life, and I mean all. She photographed her friends death for example and while you won't see me doing that I want to try to be a little more like that, always having a camera in hand and photographing everything. Annie said sometimes you may think a photo is mundane but it may turn out to be the best you've ever taken. I need to remember that.